One gentleman stood in the back ofthe room, slovenly dressed in a shirt that hadn't been changed in days andsporting a face that hadn't seen a razor in weeks.He ignored the rest of the team, not that he didn't have anything tocontribute most of what they were arguing over were his calculations.Punching some numbers on a hand held computer, he ran several scenarioswith several different results. None of the scenarios were acceptableexcept for the one that included all of his original calculations. Some ofthe other scenarios would prove to be disastrous."Are we actually here to open a trans-dimensional gateway or are we justscrewing around?"The room got suddenly quiet, all eyes turned to the man in the back of theroom. As a two time Noble Prize winner in mathematical physics what cameout of his mouth was usually considered gospel. Most claimed him to be thetrue heir to Einstein, the rest claimed that he was a combination ofEinstein and Hawking. What disappointed most was that he was no. The film continued in documentary style, each stage in the ‘upgrading’ described in words and visual images.Some say our upgrading began when our male parts were removed, said the voice-over, but others say it started during our interrogation and preparation. Those weeks before the castration were hard – daily exercises, restricted diet, isolation, continual questioning, punishments for any hint of resistance or rebellion, no sexual pleasure – but without them we couldn’t have faced our future. Castration remains a shattering experience, painful beyond measure both physically and psychologically, but in retrospect you’re grateful for the weeks of build-up.The film showed a single-bed surgical room, white and sterile, packed with equipment, medical and nursing staff bustling. The narrator explained the specimen’s recovery following its removal from the post.Our surgeons used the stub of penis and the skin of the scrotum that remained after my neutering. Only two weeks after I’d ceased.
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